~

Uniform Behaviour: Steamy Stories About Men and Women in Uniform, ed. by Lucy Felthouse

Sixteen steamy stories from established erotica authors including Justine Elyot, Craig J Sorensen, Victoria Blisse, Shermaine Williams, Elizabeth Coldwell and Lucy Felthouse. A portion of the proceeds goes to the UK-based organization, Help for Heroes.

_____________________________________________________________

Between the wildfires currently ravaging Texas and the memory of 9-11, those who wear uniforms are on many people’s minds this week. So it seemed apropos to read and review Uniform Behaviour: Steamy Stories about Men and Women in Uniform. Or maybe that’s all an excuse and I just wanted to read about hot firefighters, pilots and security guards.

About the Book: Overall, this collection features a ton of different uniforms, from firefighters and soldiers to a cleaning lady and a waiter. It’s not just the guys wearing the goods, either. Girl cops and female pilots also decorate the pages. Although the book leans toward soldiers (nearly a third of the stories feature soldiers of some type), the rest of the variety lends the book enough diversity to make it always feel new and interesting. There are even a couple of cougar stories, which always makes me happy.

The Stories: The stories in this collection were hit-or-miss for me; they either completely worked (as in, ‘please give me a fan and a glass of ice water’ worked) or they fell totally flat. The good news is that there were a lot more stories that were hits than misses–only a couple felt too “stroke” for me, seeming to sacrifice writing and story for straight-up smut. The stories that did work, really worked, standing out as seriously sexy, well-written pieces of erotic sensuality, the kind that I can read over and over again and still find arousing.

~

~

Some favorites for me were the delightful tongue-in-cheek, “The Captain’s Persuasion,” by Delyth Angharad, which featured not only a delightfully strong-willed female character, but also some of the best verbal teasing I’ve read in a long while. “Sin City,” by Rebecca Bond is a dirty and devious tale of tattoos and anti-heroes that made me squirm more than a little. And Lucy Felthouse’s “Just Couldn’t Wait,” pulls the tension so taut that you’re practically panting in want along with her characters. There are also a couple of sexy stories packed inside a sweet, romantic gift box, such as “Venus,” by Hawthorn.

Excerpt from “Just Couldn’t Wait”:

The guy was gorgeous. How on earth had she not noticed him before? The evening would have been much more interesting had she had some eye candy to perv on. And this fella was definitely eye candy. Boxes of it, in fact.

.

Reaching across to claim her flute of bubbles, Carla took the opportunity to study the waiter more closely. She reckoned he was around the same age as her. He was tall; incredibly tall, actually. Six foot four or so, Carla guessed. He towered over her, even though she wore heels. He had dark hair, roughly chin length and clearly with a mind of its own. A cute snub nose and big baby blues simply added to the vision of gorgeousness before her. And that was before taking his attire into consideration.

.

Carla had never really thought about it before, but she decided there and then that waiters’ get-ups were hot. They were just so prim and proper-looking, with their pristine white shirts, natty bow ties and sharp creases. It was also what it represented – polite society and good behaviour. Carla immediately wanted to corrupt him. She was sure he was no angel, despite his current persona, but still – in a uniform like that, she could pretend.

.

Thanking the waiter for her drink and treating him to a broad smile and a dash of the come-to-bed eyes, Carla retreated to her corner. Presently, as the alcohol did its work and her imagination got fired up, Carla decided the only way to alleviate the boredom of the evening would be to make some entertainment of her own. And that included the mighty fine waiter, she surmised. Yes, it was time for some corruption.

The uniforms in this collection are fun sexual devices–after all, who doesn’t love a hot fireman or a sexy cleaning lady?–but they’re more than that. In the best stories in this book, the uniforms become things to hide in and things to escape from. They become about identity and relating and worldview. They become about experiences, life-stories and lusts. And most of all, they become about the desires of the very real characters who wear them.

~hjm

SCORE: Hot as a four-alarm fire, with the occasional cold shower thrown in.

~